Life as I know it

25… No more like 80.

Yesterday started out like every other day at work. Lifted 205 boxes for shipment. Processed women’s clothes, then baby clothes and finally my men’s department. I was fine. Then I bend down to get some pants to move onto another rack… and I couldn’t stand up. My back locked up. This has happened before, I can’t move without pain shooting from my lower back into my legs. Standing becomes difficult and walking becomes painful. I tried my hardest to work through it, January is always a hard month on the paycheck because hours get cut back, but the pain becomes too much to handle. I work with tears in my eyes and realize that I can’t even bend over even the littlest to put away some shirts on a table inches within my grasp.

Never have I felt so useless. It makes you realize how much you take for granted; the fact that your body can flex and move. I cried all the way home, trying to avoid all the bumps in the road and any unnecessary turns that normally would need me to sit up and turn my upper body. Home… in bed, is all I could do since yesterday afternoon.

The pain is not as bad when I’m in a comfortable position but as soon as I move to adjust, my back screams at me to stop. When I do have to move to go get something to eat/drink or use the restroom… I grunt and claw at anything that will help me sit/stand up. Then I have to wait for the pain to subside and walk in small strides so that my back doesn’t move in too much motion.

The worst is knowing that I turn 25 on Saturday and my body makes me feel like I’m in my 80’s. I was even excited because I was going to renew my gym membership since I’ve been dieting. I’ll take it as a sign that I am not as young as I like to think I am. I know everyone is thinking… 25…  that’s extremely young, but when you have put your body through strain like cheerleading in high school and the amount of pressure I put on my back with work, it’s amazing that this only happens even now and then.

Eventually I will need to go to a chiropractor and see if there is something wrong with my back… it’s been a few months since the last time this has happened [didn’t happen at work, I actually woke up from sleeping and realized I couldn’t move without being in terrible pain] I’d like to have x-rays done just to be sure nothing in my back is fractured… because hell… you never know what could cause this.

You act like a Crip but dress like a Blood. – Ronald [making fun of my current situation and that I was wearing a red shirt… I give it to him… it was quite witty. :D]

Thank goodness for a laptop or I would be going crazy right now, not having any interaction with the internet. Sad, I know. So today is another take it easy kind of day. I will lay in bed and do whatever I can to keep myself entertained within my limits of not having to move about. Lucky for me, it’s a gloomy rainy day, which will make me feel the need even more to stay inside and rest. Hopefully like the last time I will be able to move about with little pain by tomorrow. If not, then home is where I will have to stay and I will have to sacrifice my paycheck for some healing time. Not happy about it, but my health has been my main concern for a while now, I would not want to hurt myself further because I was too stubborn to take it easy.

 

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5 thoughts on “25… No more like 80.

  1. I’ve always found it strange that we can do all this crazy labor, exercise, movements etc and feel fine, but just the simplest wrong movement can knock you out of commission for a week. Especially lower back pain because just about any movement hurts like crazy. I always feel so helpless and frustrated when I throw my back out like that. I hope you feel better soon and try to take it easy 🙂
    ~Elizabeth

    1. Omg, helpless is a great word to describe how I’m feeling right now! I was really hoping that I would be able to bend over today but I get to about a 45 degree angle and it feels like someone is stabbing me my lower back. I don’t know if I should call work and tell them that I won’t be coming in tomorrow because let’s face it… I would be pretty useless during shipment not being able to do anything that involves me bending over and moving at a reasonable speed.

  2. I have suffered from back problems pretty much my entire life, but not as severely as you at such a young age. But what I have found that works better for me than a chiropractor is massage therapy. And I mean the type that works trigger points, not a light “rub my skin” massage. I have walked into a therapist unable to stand straight, and leave with a spring in my step. But I learned that I cannot stop going. Now I’m down to every other week for a short half-hour massage, but it is worth it. Many cities also have massage schools which I’ve used many times. It is rather a crap-shoot on the student, but the pricing cannot be beat. And if you find one you like, you can reschedule with them – until they graduate.

    1. Oh yeah, I figured that out real fast. I asked my husband to give me a massage and it felt so much better when he was done, but then not even 10 minutes later the pain was back. I’m feeling a little better today. Still can’t bend over much but the pain from just movement is going away. I hope it is gone by this weekend because I’m going with my best friend and sister to see a Rembrandt exhibit, and I have to be ready for a three hour drive. lol. Thank you for the advice though!

      1. Glad you feel better. If you don’t mind, tho, I would like to kindly emphasize that a professional knows trigger points that others don’t. There’s actually a spot deep down inside the abdoment that when someone who knows what they’re doing hits it, then the lower back muscles are released. I found one person that did that (a friend had told me about it before), and OMG… it was amazing. But regardless, even from your husband helps. I was just recently diagnosed with MS and that has multiplied my back pain tremendously, and the massage is helping me release so much of the spasms I’m constantly having. I just swear by it. Be safe on your 3 hour drive!

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