Yesterday started out like every other day at work. Lifted 205 boxes for shipment. Processed women’s clothes, then baby clothes and finally my men’s department. I was fine. Then I bend down to get some pants to move onto another rack… and I couldn’t stand up. My back locked up. This has happened before, I can’t move without pain shooting from my lower back into my legs. Standing becomes difficult and walking becomes painful. I tried my hardest to work through it, January is always a hard month on the paycheck because hours get cut back, but the pain becomes too much to handle. I work with tears in my eyes and realize that I can’t even bend over even the littlest to put away some shirts on a table inches within my grasp.
Never have I felt so useless. It makes you realize how much you take for granted; the fact that your body can flex and move. I cried all the way home, trying to avoid all the bumps in the road and any unnecessary turns that normally would need me to sit up and turn my upper body. Home… in bed, is all I could do since yesterday afternoon.
The pain is not as bad when I’m in a comfortable position but as soon as I move to adjust, my back screams at me to stop. When I do have to move to go get something to eat/drink or use the restroom… I grunt and claw at anything that will help me sit/stand up. Then I have to wait for the pain to subside and walk in small strides so that my back doesn’t move in too much motion.
The worst is knowing that I turn 25 on Saturday and my body makes me feel like I’m in my 80’s. I was even excited because I was going to renew my gym membership since I’ve been dieting. I’ll take it as a sign that I am not as young as I like to think I am. I know everyone is thinking… 25… that’s extremely young, but when you have put your body through strain like cheerleading in high school and the amount of pressure I put on my back with work, it’s amazing that this only happens even now and then.
Eventually I will need to go to a chiropractor and see if there is something wrong with my back… it’s been a few months since the last time this has happened [didn’t happen at work, I actually woke up from sleeping and realized I couldn’t move without being in terrible pain] I’d like to have x-rays done just to be sure nothing in my back is fractured… because hell… you never know what could cause this.
You act like a Crip but dress like a Blood. – Ronald [making fun of my current situation and that I was wearing a red shirt… I give it to him… it was quite witty. :D]
Thank goodness for a laptop or I would be going crazy right now, not having any interaction with the internet. Sad, I know. So today is another take it easy kind of day. I will lay in bed and do whatever I can to keep myself entertained within my limits of not having to move about. Lucky for me, it’s a gloomy rainy day, which will make me feel the need even more to stay inside and rest. Hopefully like the last time I will be able to move about with little pain by tomorrow. If not, then home is where I will have to stay and I will have to sacrifice my paycheck for some healing time. Not happy about it, but my health has been my main concern for a while now, I would not want to hurt myself further because I was too stubborn to take it easy.